Vulnerability = uncertainty + risk + emotional exposure - Brene Brown
One of the great blessings of my work is the privilege of witnessing people in moments of vulnerability.
Coming to a counseling session is a courageous act for many people for many reasons. For most of my clients it means acknowledging something isn't working the way they want it to, it means accepting that after all the things you've already tried this one thing just won't seem to change.
It also means asking for help. Most of us are pretty fearful when it comes to asking for help from people we love- let alone a stranger. So my clients are courageously overcoming risks just by coming into an appointment.
Once in an appointment, being truly honest with ourselves, letting empathy in, and sitting with emotions are all vulnerable and courageous acts I see in clients every day. I have seen husbands apologize for affairs, daughters set boundaries with mothers, wives ask for divorces, and survivors recollect abuses and so many more acts of courageous vulnerability.
But we don't always talk about why and when and if vulnerability is a good thing.
My greatest vulnerability mentor is Dr Brene' Brown- a researcher and storyteller working out of Houston Texas. I trained with her a while back in order to start teaching the Daring Way retreat weekends- all about vulnerability, authenticity, and connection.
The power of vulnerability she discusses in the TED Talk below explains why it is so valuable and transformative to courageously engage in vulnerability in our lives. Check it out:
Here are a few of my favorite highlights from her talk:
Connection is why we are here. It is what gives purpose and meaning to our lives. And, vulnerability is the key to connection.
You can’t selectively numb feelings. To numb hard feelings is to turn off joy, love, passion, connection.
The people who have a sense of worthiness and a strong sense of love and belonging believe they are worthy of love and belonging. This was the only factor that set them apart from others who had strong connection.
Children come into the world hardwired for struggle. Struggle is in our DNA, and the greatest gift we can give our kids is not protection from struggle but the confidence that they can fail and stumble and still be worthy of love.