Five Questions to Decide: Should We See A Couples Counselor?

When to See a Couples Counselor  | Amplified Good Positive Psychology Coaching and Counseling in Portland

"Are we gonna make it?"

Almost every day couples ask me: Are we gonna make it?"  It's an important question and I am glad they're asking- it tells me they care if they have a future or not.  

Luckily I have a lot of training in predicting divorce and break up.

But the truth is, it doesn't matter if I think they'll make it or not.  What really matters is if  they believe they will make it or not.  Which isn't always easy.  I know all too well the couples I meet with are having trouble finding hope after frequent arguments, building resentments, and loneliness have set in.

It can be hard to see the sun through the clouds but you can be even stronger together. 

The thing is, I often have hope when my client's have lost it (its part of my job).  What a lot of people mean when they ask me this question is: is couples counseling right for us?

Know when to see a couples counselor

If you have found yourself wondering if couples counseling or relationship coaching is right for you ask yourself the following:

  1. Do you know each other's individual life dreams?  Do you have shared dreams?

  2. How well do you know each other now?  How are you different than you were when you first fell in love?

  3. What is unique about your connection?  Do you feel emotionally connected?

  4. Is your sex life satisfying?  Do you feel energetic passion, desire, or fascination with each other?

  5. Are you able to resolve conflicts with humor and respect?  Are you able to agree to disagree?

  6. Is there space for each of you to have a full range of emotions (happy, sad, mad, afraid) in your relationship?

Couples counseling can help you answer and nourish each one of these relationship needs.  You can walk away feeling more clear about your future together with greater understanding and deeper genuine authentic connection.  

Couples counseling can help you fight with greater respect, or rekindle sexual energy.  It can help you see your relationship with new clarity and compassion.

Instead of asking yourself "are we gonna make it" maybe try asking "is couples counseling right for us?"  If you would like to schedule a complimentary consultation to see if my services are a match for you, click here to schedule.